Me Me Meeeeeeeeee

borrowed from samantha

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . . is irrelevant to anything life has to offer
2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . . means I have to find something decent to wear
3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . that I will swear ALOT.
4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . .my family probably more than my family needs me.
5. I’ve come that realize that I have lost. . .a little bit of myself along the way
6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . .people close their minds (and dont reduce, reuse, or recycle)
7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . .i remember who i was and grab some water!
8. I’ve come to realize that money. . . cannot buy happiness, but being able to pay the bills certainly helps with stress levels.
9. I’ve come to realize that certain people. . .will never change and realize how narrow and shallow minded they really are
10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . . get by

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . .is my best friend and probably knows more about me than anyone else in the world

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom. . . .will always be there for me no matter what.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . .is a piece of junk but still works so i think it will do just fine.
14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . .i hit the snooze button then got out of bed anyway...why waste time sleeping
15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . . I was satisfied with life
16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .the crotch of my pants is too short and I'm going to be irritated by it all day long.
17. I’ve come to realize that my dad. . .should swallow his pride and realize that his house is too big for him and my mom
18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . . its usually to look at pictures or send a message
19. I’ve come to realize that today. . . . is Monday and not my most favorite day of the week

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight. . .I will probably complain because the house is a mess, but then do nothing to fix it.

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . . is Tuesday and there is nothing great about Tuesday
22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . .stop thinking about death so much, its beginning to consume me and I am starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me
23. I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is. . . no one, sam already did it
24. I’ve come to realize that life. . . . is fleeting and I always feel like I'm waiting for someone to die~I can't stand it

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . .was beautiful, the weather was great, i got to be with my family and my dogs and I really couldn't ask for more
26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . .usually enhances my mood, but that's why I listen to it. then I get out of my funk faster
27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. . .are always going to be secondary to my family and it makes me feel bad that I'm not a better friend
28. I’ve come to realize that this year. . .That my kids are getting older and its ok for me to get back to who I was and let loose more and enjoy my husband more.

29. I’ve come to realize that my exes. . . . Idk, i dont think about them

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . . . probably go to morning meeting right now, but this is more fun

31. I’ve come to realize that I love. . . my family a ridiculous amount
32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . .alot of things
33. I’ve come to realize my past. . . .is my past and I dont really talk about it that much

34. I’ve come to realize that parties. . . .can be fun even when i'm not falling down drunk and stupid

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . . my kids will die and i will not ok with that at all.

36. I’ve come to realize that my life. . .is not something I own or control..each day is a gift.

The Bitch at the Beach...And Judgement

First of all let me say that I do not enjoy the fact that I feel like I don't have REAL control over where these pictures end up when I upload them! OK, with that being said I want to celebrate for a minute a rain free weekend in the state of Connecticut! And to make it more celebratory it was 4th of July weekend. What a great weekend to be rain free~ Can I get a little "woot woot!"? OK, maybe not...but you need to know how happy it made me. On Sunday morning we deliberated for some time until we decide we MUST go to the beach. We ended up at Lighthouse Point Park in New Haven as a "lets try it" visit. I wondered if I had been there as a child but was unable to say for sure. You might not guess it from the reputation that Connecticut has as a "rich" state....but we have our fair share of ghetto areas and to be honest New Haven can go either way. Trying a park that you are not familiar with and has not been recommended to you is somewhat of a crap shoot. You never know what you might get until you get there.

After walking across the grassy picnic area we couldn't help but notice the amount of garbage strewn around and the piles of people hanging around having bbq's and blasting their obnoxiously loud music.
In my head I was thinking UH OH, this is not going to go well. But we pushed on, all pretending that we are not bothered by what we have all just seen~because deep inside we all want to pretend we don't judge. But I know inside if its worrying me...its worrying the kids and John as well. Mason at the very least. He likes things "just so". He doesn't like hanging with a tough or questionable crowd, he doesn't settle in to unfamiliar settings and anytime he feels something is awry he is running for the hills. I was slightly shocked he hadn't already asked if we could leave and try somewhere else.


So we reach the beach and decide to go to the left...toward the condos....for no particular reason. I immediately know that I have been here as a child~as I see the old building that housed the carousel~the site of the lighthouse over the tree tops~and the various stone animals that line the edge of the beach~ but have no memories otherwise. We find a happy spot just to the side of the lifeguard tower and make ourselves a happy home.
The bitchy old lady behind us can't help but stare, more than likely fearful of the fact that we brought 3 kids with us and is assuming that we are sure to ruin her day at the beach (ironically my first attempt at spelling beach came out BITCH...freudian slip? perhaps). She was probably wondering why we sat so close to her when we had the whole beach to choose from. After ten minutes or so I ask Mason to help me move the blanket down closer to the water so we are not so close~I can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head. As we begin to move I can tell by her grimace that us moving is EVEN more annoying to her than our original position.
As I glare back at her I am reminded why people like me belong at the beaches where the garbage is strewn and the crowd is questionable. If for no reason other than being ABLE and ALLOWED to glare back at an old bitch for daring to stare me down for having brought three of the loveliest children into the world to the beach on such a fine sunny day. I make sure to stare back as I mutter loud enough for her to hear to Mason that we are moving to get away from the bitch with the staring problem.


Yes, yes, I tend to NOT bite my lip whenever the mood strikes. And you best be hoping your not on the end of my bark....because I promise my bite is just as bad. Especially where my children are concerned. My kids are incredibly well behaved, they are not rude, not disrespectful, they are not loud and I am by no means embarrassed to bring them anywhere~I wish they could say the same about me. When I am confronted by theglares of a woman on the beach whom I can tell is concerned that my 3 may want to build a castle, toss a ball around, or just be all around loud and obnoxious (as children can be) it sets me off and I like to gently remind the likes of these people that it is not always the children who will make your visit unpleasant...but sometimes it is the parents themselves who will make you wish you kept your face planted firmly on the pages of your book where it belongs!

The point of my story is this...don't judge a book by its cover because you will most likely be wrong.

After all was said and done, I should tell you that the garbage was being vacuumed up as we walked through it... and the loud people that I was so fearful would be on the beach all kept their place on the grass having barbecues and what I am sure were family reunions (who goes to the beach to sit on the grass????) and did nothing to wreck our day at the beach.

Just as we had judged the park and its visitors by walking by some garbage the bitch in her beach chair had judged us for having children. We all judge, it's human nature to judge before we have knowledge, but how we react while we are judging is a real testament to who we are. To stare rudely is something quite different than quietly wondering but giving the benefit of the doubt in an instance when you are unsure.

"A mind that doesn't question its judgements, makes the world very small and dangerous"